Letting Go of Something Good (So Long, Citrix)

It's my last day today as the Product Manager of Citrix in WSI and though I tried to resist it, I simply can't fight the reality of change. I've been distracted since my boss made the personal announcement last week, July 23 (just a day before my birthday) that she will take charge of Citrix now and that I'll handle the Microsoft Cloud business of WSI effective August 1. I wanted to complain about so many things like...

     

I poured out the past year of my life for CTX and now it's taken away from me?

I won't even get at least a month of transition?

I didn't even spend 1 year as PM for CTX?

I won't even get a chance to formally say my goodbyes to my dear principals and partners?

How about the big accounts that will close this year that I worked hard for?

I didn't even experience the fruits of my labor because of the long sales cycle.

And what happens now to my goal of leaving Citrix after two years being a stable business for the company?

It's even harder where I'm heading because Microsoft Cloud is pretty new and customers, like me, are afraid of changes.

I feel like all the efforts and invested learnings and time that I've exerted for the past year (1st 6 months as Pre Sales Engineer and 2nd 6 months as PM) cant be maximized anymore. :( 

My established relationships with my partners cant grow further, and could even be discontinued because we have no more business to do together.

So you see why I find it hard to move on? I feel like something good is being snatched from me, like a favorite toy being taken away from a kid! But then I hear my soul, and even God himself telling me to accept it, even embrace it! That as I speak each line of my whining, I hear another voice saying another thing.

I poured out the past year of my life for CTX and now it's taken away from me? It's noble to pour out your life on things you're passionate about but learn not to depend your life on it.

I won't even get at least a month of transition? Maybe you're just being trained for a life full of fast transitions? 

I didn't even spend 1 year as PM for CTX? Maybe many short but colorful seasons are ahead, so you're being taught to maximize your current season?

I won't even get a chance to formally say my goodbyes to my dear principals and partners? Why do you need to?

How about the big accounts that will close this year that I worked hard for? Will not God give you good accounts in Microsoft also?

I didn't even  experience the fruits of my labor because of the long sales cycle. So did you work hard because of the fruits you could get?

And what happens now to my goal of leaving Citrix after two years being a stable business for the company. Doesn't God's plans always prevail?

It's even harder where I'm heading because Microsoft Cloud is pretty new and customers, like me, are afraid of changes. Isn't God's grace enough?

I feel like all the efforts and invested learnings and time that I've exerted for the past year (1st 6 months as Pre Sales Engineer and 2nd 6 months as PM) cant be maximized anymore. :( Can't you carry the most important lessons you learned to your next season? ie, character moldings

My established relationships with my partners cant grow further, even could be discontinued because we have no more business to do together. Maybe there's a way to be relational aside from being business-oriented?

I feel like a schizo talking my own thoughts. But for me, it only  means I know this transition can be good... and can be worked for the good by the God I love. It's just that letting go of something good is just so hard, specially when you don't know what you are letting it go for.

But let me use this post also to publicly acknowledge to myself that God is always purposeful for the different seasons He's putting me through. And I know that I wouldn't be able to embrace my next season until I have completely let go of my previous. So despite the doubts and whining, I'm just gonna step out in faith and be equally if not more passionate about Microsoft as I was with Citrix. 

Well some good things I see... new learnings, new challenges, more people I can practice interaction with, more opportunities for personal growth and development, and more significantly, higher trust in God in times of uncertainties. 

Thank you Lord for a jam-packed and VERY SURPRISING JULY! :)

Thank you for my experiences while with Citrix :) Now I think I'm ready for Microsoft!

DOST Scholar Can Now Fly Outside PH

Been receiving inquiries from my co-DOST Scholars regarding the requirements I completed prior to flying to Vietnam last April 2014. Sorry it took me months to write this long-conceived thought of a referential blog but here it is.. and it's going to take just a short post. ^_^

When I came into my current company last July 2013, I hoped that sooner or later I will be sent outside Ph for a corporate conference or training. So even before my 1st day at work last year, I already secured my passport. It took me 3 years after graduation to be in faith that I could actually go out of the country :) I also checked last year my status from the Bureau of Immigration and found out that I'm not part of the blacklist! That's a confidence booster for me!

The opportunity to actually go out of Ph came last March when by boss decided I should represent the company to Citrix's Partner Bootcamp in Vietnam dated April 2-4. That's 1 month preparation of actually not preparing at all because my expenses were taken care of by Citrix and WSI plus I had also a little pocket money that I could spend while there in VN. So bags packed and ready to go!

Went to NAIA very early because I knew there's a possibility of getting questioned by the Immigration. I checked in and lined up to be checked and indeed, the immigration officer questioned a lot since my passport will have its first ever stamp. Questions asked were: Where are you going? What will you do there? When will you come back? And you have to convince them that your answers are true! So I showed my email invite from Citrix and the itinerary, even the return flight ticket. But the most amazing thing that happened is how God showed his saving hand! I found in my hand-carry bag the contract that my company gave me prior to leaving. I wasn't even thinking of bringing it but I had it in my bag anyway! This contract showed the bond that the trip would cause me, which is equivalent to 6 months of stay in WSI. And voila! I got my stamp! Nothing about being a DOST Scholar was even mentioned in the airport... making me conclude that the ban for DOST scholars has been lifted!

So to summarize, if you're flying out of the Ph for the first time... just remember to bring all possible documents you could show to prove that you're returning. Or if you're not planning to return, dont bring printed resumes or anything that would give the officer a clue that you're planning to work there... aside of course if you have an agency you're working with!

Happy flying! :)

It Will Rain

This post is not related to Bruno Mars' song in any way but the exciting season that God has in store for me as revealed by the Holy Spirit during the last day of the mid-year Prayer and Fasting last July 3. The mid-year fasting has a mark of being a time of God's clear revelation for me starting last year 2013, when He clearly told me about a turning-point in my life that I had to obey. Until now, I'm still in awe and very grateful that He caused things to happen last year though they put me in difficult valleys.

I entered the fasting season very much excited and expectant that God will exceed what He did last mid-year. Remember that my 2014 has been themed by God with Fire? You can read it here. I never entertained the thought though of praying "Lord please let it be over soon," as I have accepted that my entire year will be a year of fire... very challenging, draining and stretching but my character has never been this firm as before :) Although He's turning it around now! At the last day of fasting, during the worship time when we were instructed to just wait to be filled with the Holy Spirit to the tune of Like A Fire by Planetshakers, God just showed me a vision looking up with clouds producing light raindrops that i can feel with my skin. For me it just represented the Holy Spirit "raining down" upon me, until I heard God tell me "This is your next season." At first I can hardly believe it because it's too sweet to be true! Rain has been God's special way to remind me of His comfort as if each drop is His embrace to me, and of His provision as if every raindrop is a piece of blessing. But instead of shrugging it off, I accepted it and still in that moment of worship while Like A Fire was playing, the Holy Spirit started to remind me of what's in "RAIN" because I wanted to have a list of verses/principles that relate to it. 

First thing that He reminded me of is Noah's time in Genesis 6-9 when God sent rain for the first time to CLEANSE the world of its sin. That one was easy to accept as I've been in a season of cleansing and purification during the first half of the year through fire... this time it's gonna be through water. The second He reminded me of is during the time of Elijah when God showed himself off on top of Mt Carmel and proved that He alone is God and the baals are nothing in compared to Him. That moment marked off a time when the long drought that Israel experienced for years was ended by God sending off RAIN! Too sweet to believe that God will let me experience something that I haven't experienced for a long time :') I didn't wanna get ahead of God but right there my soul started to claim that  I'm gonna reach my targets starting this July! Then the worship song ended and I was so filled with God's presence and revelation I had to share it with Lovely and Jen!

Friday the next day, I was so excited to leave the office and head to my favorite quiet time spot: Starbucks, The Columns. I sat there with my mint tea and started to read the verses pertaining to Noah and Elijah's experiences of rain, and now I'm writing here the bulk of it.

God's Personal Revelation to Me About RAIN

1. DURING NOAH'S TIME

We all know the story. God sent rain for 40 days to wipe off the Earth from wickedness and it says in Genesis 7:11 and 8:2 

     "...on that day, all the springs of the great deep burst forth , and the floodgates of the heavens were opened"

     "Now the springs of the deep and the floodgates of the heavens had been cosed, and the rain had stopped falling from the sky."

Did floodgates of heaven ring a bell to you? It sure did when I was meditating on it! It was also mentioned in Malachi 3:10 where is says:

     "'Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,' says the Lord Almighty, 'and see if I will not throw open the FLOODGATES of HEAVEN and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.'"

And right there, God told me that when the floodgates of heaven open up, it's not just the rain that pours out of it. It's also the pathway for blessings! Honestly, my doubtful self wanted to ray, "really Lord?" because I have NEVER experienced having so much blessings that I didn't have room enough to contain it. I give my tithe faithully and I'm already happy that God provides me with JUST enough! So hearing God tell me that He's gonna pour out more than enough took a lot of faith from my heart! 

2. DURING ELIJAH'S TIME

As you may have read/heard before, Elijah was an important prophet whose one of the highlights being able to turn off the rain supply as one would turn off the shower (borrowed Steven Furtick's words there), of course through God's power! So there was at least 3 long years of drought in Israel which is a consequence of the people sin for worshiping other gods. Then when it's time for God to show himself up to the people, He uses Elijah to disprove the false prophets of the false gods by sending FIRE from heaven to consume the offering in front of the people, which the false gods, of course were not able to do. So after the sending the fire, God finally sent rain to the people who long yearn for water. Although Elijah's faith had to be tested once again when he had to check 7 times if rain was indeed coming as he claimed in front of the people and King Ahab of Israel. On the 7th time of checking (which is the number of God or of completion), finally they saw a cloud formation which eventually sent rain!

God already revealed to me on the 3rd day of fasting that He was going to do something that I haven't experienced for a long time just as how the people of Israel haven't experience rain for a long time. But it was when I was meditating on this story that he confirmed to me through numbers that it's going to be about my sales figures. For 6 months I've been trying to reach my quota, just as how many times Elijah checked to see if there was already rain. Now, this July which is the 7th month since I got promoted to the position, it's going to happen! :) Not to mention that July also is my birth month! So could you imagine how sweet it is to hear God promise something so tangible to me? :)

July is indeed a month of surprise to me, answering my request to God which I posted on Instagram.

Also not forgetting that aside from these great revelations, He also answered my 2 faith goals in my list:

-Get teaching load in RTU

-Provision for my Medan Mission Trip

This blog doesn't justify the excitement I feel so if you're my friend who wants to personally hear this testimony of God's sweetness, date me! :D

Ready for the rain!!! :)