Limping Like Cool Jacob (LL Cool J)

There has been quite a number of times in my walk with God where I could relate or identify with Abraham:

In the long-awaited promises God gives us. (As God promised many offspring to Abraham)
In the seemingly illogical directions God wants us to obey. (As God told Abraham to go to a place unknown)
In the difficult sacrifices God wants to test our faith with. (As God tested Abraham in sacrificing his son Isaac).

But I have rarely identified myself to Jacob's encounters with God. Well there could be times in the past when I would try to wrestle with Him at my stubborn stages but never do I remember that I wrote in my journal "I feel like I'm Jacob." Not until now.

I injured my left knee last Friday night when I jumped a lot in giving all my energy to give God a Hard Praise just like a Hard Rock! :) Later into the night I already started to limp a little bit but still acted normal as much as I can because I didn't want to catch others' attention. I got home and rested faithful that God would heal me right away.

However, I woke up Saturday morning with the same condition but still the same faith. I applied some self-medication but to no avail. Then the enemy's voice started to pitch in lies...

Why would God allow it to happen when you were praising him anyway?
Why would not God heal you right away when you just finished fasting anyway?
What would other people say when they found out that it happened during a prayer meeting?

Huh, this freak thought he would score on me! The more that he threw in those doubts, the more that I'm committing to God my situation. Maybe God bragged about me like He did with Job? Maybe God's gonna use my situation to show me in a different way how powerful a healer He is? Im not sure. But one thing I'm sure, He's in charged and my job is to praise him in every situation I may be in!

So Sunday came and my knee got a little more swelling and I wasn't able to drag myself to church rather to the hospital. I was literally limping like Jacob and I feel like it's a privilege to be assigned with this kind of task: To carry out praise in my lips and mind even when I'm feeling physical pain and facing the fact that I can't go to places faster as before with the manner I'm walking.

But then here comes another assurance that God is in control of all this... When I opened my YouVersion Bible App while I was in the hospital waiting for me to be attended, guess what story appeared in my Bible-reading plan? It's Genesis 32 where it narrates Jacob's encounter with God that in the end made him limp!!!
Coincidence? Nah... Exactly the story of the Bible I'm currently in. Although I did not wrestle with God prior to being limp, I so claim the symbolism that my life will never be the same after the prayer and fasting encounter with God just as Jacob's life has never been the same since his wrestling experience with God.

And what excites me even more is the blessing that God gave to Jacob after He touched his hip. :) So I'm getting myself ready for the blessing God will speak over me in the coming year. I'm beginning to like this fiery year! :)

PS: Pray for my left knee! :)

Letter to Citrix's Callum Eade

I admit I'm mushy. I just need to express myself to these people if I want to work efficiently with them right...

Hello Callum! :) You prolly are wondering what this letter is about so I wanna say first that my purpose of writing this is to help myself hit the floor running as I take my new position.
And you're dearly a big factor for me to achieve that because I'll be frequently working with you closely right. FYI I wrote Mdm Cecille a letter, too. :P

I appreciate so much that you are extremely kind and gentle as how I observe you to be. And thank you for expressing your support as I transition in. I understand how significant Sir Angelo has been during the past year for you and that you're as regretful as I am that he decided to leave the business. I couldn't say that I can be exactly like him because we're entirely different and that I'm just starting out... but I can assure you that my personal vision for the technology will fuel my passion to grow the business in WSI-side which in turn will benefit you, too.  But for that to happen I gotta have a good working relationship with you which I believe will grow naturally :) It's just more enjoyable working that way right?

I wanna address also the gaps that we may have. One is cultural, which I can easily adapt anyway. Another is language gap. I speak and understand English but please bear with me if at times i would be slow to catch your accent okay? Don't lose your patience on me when I ask you to repeat what I could have not understood easily :P No worries about me being a woman as I could be one of the guys anyway ;) Just need some getting used to. There could be times in the future when we would clash in our stand but I know we can deal with that professionally, especially if we have gone to be friends along the way :) 

Hey I would also appreciate if you could tell me in anyway how I can improve as we go along. I love constructive criticisms because I'm a learner. I could also look up to you as a mentor cause I know that you're the best at what you do.
Thanks Callum for expressing your support, it means a lot to me. :) We're gonna have a great 2014. See you soon! Thanks for reading, i think this is a little mushy. :P

PS. Thinking twice if I'll send this to you.

Sincerely, 
Jonai

An Urgent Letter to My Boss

I just wrote a letter to my boss to tell her that I need, more than a BOSS, a MENTOR. I don't mind sharing through my online diary :)

Hi Ma'am Cecille :) I know you don't like long emails but I'll attempt to catch your attention anyway through this informal letter.

I just wanted to express my thoughts about the new position that I can't believe I'm now in-charged of. My vision is not just to reach the quota or revenue-related goals but to be an instrument that would stabilize the Citrix group of WSI. I noticed that it has been very negatively dynamic with all the movements that have previously happened, and really I wanna be the one where those unwanted movements stop. :) 

I know that it's a challenging situation right now, with all the stress of transition, both internally and externally. At times I would, at the back of my mind, logically complain about things such as "I'm not even effective yet but I'm already experiencing the stress of the position, plus the frustrating fact that I'm not even gonna blah blah blah (original words replaced)"... things that ordinary people would be frustrated of.  But I dare say I'm different because I choose to take these hard rocks as stepping stones rather than a baggage that would weigh me down. And so to achieve my goal which would basically benefit the company and the group, I would greatly need your help :P

I want to look at you as my mentor on top of just being my boss. I believe that i could learn more from you in that way. Last time you asked me what I expect from you. I wish to answer now. :) I admire your strictness and desire to push beyond the limitations. But I just want to expect that you'll have the patience to bear with me as I start out. I'm sure there'll be mistakes that would probably anger you but even in those situations I hope to get constructive corrections from you. Don't worry, as it's my personal principle to always be punctual and have the integrity of keeping my commitments, so I don't think that would be a problem. But you know, I would be at times slow to decide especially on big matters because I'm naturally deliberative. So I might bug you sometimes to ask for your opinions.

I wrote this because I want to feel comfortable with you as a good relationship between us would greatly help me work with efficiency. Plus I believe good working relationships will make our jobs more enjoyable than stressful. This doesn't say all but I think it's a good start. I couldnt say these also upfront personally because more likely I wouldn't be able to find the words to say. :)
So thank you for reading! :)

PS. Please allow naman Sir Angelo to do the enablements tomorrow? He's so much willing to do it for us. I've got a medical cert that tells me to rest for 3 days but I will still go to work tomorrow. I just cant walk/stand much. Thank you!

Respectfully,
Jonai

Through the Fire 2014

I've been waiting on God to give me a Word to be the theme or encouragement for my 2014 just as he had given me one on 2013 which I wrote about in this post VICTORIOUS THIS 2013. Well I got it but it's not as purely comforting as last year's. I was expecting themes like "Blessed" or "More Than Enough" or "Greater" or promises that you won't even have second thoughts receiving. But I guess that as I have gone closer to Him last year, God kind of thinks I'm ready to face some more tough but God-glorifying situations this time. Okay, I'll reveal it, I'm going to have a Fiery, Flame-y, Burning 2014! Who won't be scared at that thought?

I was reading about Moses and the Burning Bush yesterday when the Holy Spirit started to prompt me with ideas I really did not want to entertain. But if you've been with the Holy Spirit long enough, you'd know that He really does a great job at bugging you if you don't listen (I experienced that too many times before).

Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.” (Exodus 3:2b-3)

 Yep it's a very familiar story --Moses in the mundane noticed something extraordinary and got out of his way to see what's really happening... and that we can choose to be like Moses, being faithful while doing the routines of our everyday life and wait for God to catch our attention for our new assignment. But that's not the theme God struck me with. I was more amazed with the Burning Bush here... IT  WAS ON FIRE BUT IT DID NOT BURN UP. It's hard to claim that I'm gonna be like a burning bush, consumed but not burnt out. But what's encouraging here is that it was God's fire itself that's consuming the bush that's why it's not burning up. I see it more like his presence. And the effect is an ordinary man (Moses) noticing this phenomenon which led him to do great things for God. That's encouraging too, to know that I'll be used for others to notice God's phenomenon.

Right, I don't sound excited at all! Honestly, I wanted to repel this thought and read more hoping that God would take back what He said and give me something else. Haha. But then He started to remind me that FIRE is not bad at all. It can be destructive when not contained and scary when you're in Hell (I hope you know how not to get there) but it's really essential. Here's why:

Fire symbolizes Passion in the wordly context. Fire one of the four classic elements (Earth, Wind, Water and Fire) and it is usually associated with ENERGY or PASSION. I think that makes a lot of sense because I've always been someone who makes Passion my reason for doing things!

Fire also signifies Refinement in the Bible. Silver, Gold or any other stones/gems' value is dependent on how pure and fine it has been made. The finer, the more valuable it gets. And one effective way to refine something is through fire. Knowing now that this year will be a refining process for me is not exciting at all for surely it's gonna be difficult and sacrificial, maybe even more difficult than the sacrifices I had in 2013. But just like how my sacrificial obedience resulted to me to be brought to peaks, I know that this refinement process will also, well, make me a better me! :)

Zechariah 13:9 says "And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’"


Fire cleanses us off Sin. Isaiah, one of the major prophets in the Bible was not born qualified to be such. In fact, when he had an encounter with God in Isaiah 6, he felt so ashamed and convicted of his sins. But verses 6-7 narrates that a seraphim (like an angel) touched him with a burning coal and that took away his sin and guilt. (I love putting there "guilt". It's so comforting to know it's possible to also rid of the guilt of your past sins). My 2013 was far from perfect but it's really comforting to know that none of the guilt and shame will be carried over to this year. Thanks to this, well, Fire. I'm beginning to completely believe my fiery year is gonna be the greatest so far :)

Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” (Isaiah 6:6-7)

Fire represents God's presence. This one's the best of all! We go back to Moses but this time, he was already leading the people into the Promised Land through the dessert. The Bible says that they were guided by clouds in the day (which is a shed from the heat of the sun) and by fire during the night (which provides light in the darkness).

By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. (Exodus 13:21)

Now I realize it doesn't matter what the theme of my year is. Fire, water, battle, abundance, or even lack... What really counts is who I'm with through the year. And that means for me that even with the tough circumstances I have to face because of my new responsibilities at work...

• Intimidating people I have to work with
• Competitions I have to win
• People I have to lead
• Hurdles I have to overcome
• Quotas I have to meet (hahaha)
• Everything else I can't foresee right now

...through the Fire will turn into

• People God can influence through me 
• Challenges God will use to glorify himself
• Hurdles that God can use to step me up
• Quotas that God is able to make me reach because He owns the whole world
• Everything else God can use to make Him known to me and to others.

Now I'm too hot for you to handle. :P Happy New Year!!!